Thursday, September 20, 2012

Forgiveness

It's the hardest thing to give away/ and the last thing on your mind today/ It always goes to those that don't deserve/ Its the opposite of how you feel/ When the pain they caused is just to real/ It takes everything you have just to say the word/ Forgiveness.
                             Forgiveness- Matthew West

Those are lyrics from a song that Matthew West sings. They speak the truth, at least for me they do. Forgiveness is something I often struggle with, to be completely honest, I struggled with it very recently.

I left the first high school I went to due to the lies, rumors, bullying  from students becoming to much. I nearly left the school I'm at for the very same reason. Only It wasn't the students, but the faculty. Forgiveness has been one of the toughest lessons I have had to learn. I forgive those kids freshman year, four years is way to long to hold a grudge. The hard one to forgive was the more recent one. Sometimes I still look at the man who hurt me and my family and the pain and anger come back. Its a constant battle, but God asks me to forgive. So that's what I did.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

Did you know that God forgave you? We are sinner. No one is perfect. In fact it states in Romans 3:23 "That all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." So none of us living today, can say that we never sin. We do. God forgives us, if we ask for it. I know how hard it is. Like I said I struggle daily to forgive the one that put me and the ones I love through pain, but if God can forgive me for all my sins, if he can give his only son to die for me, Then I can forgive those people.

Love for Enemies

" You have heard that it was said, love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I tell you. love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." Matthew 5:43-44

Did you catch that? Even if that person that hurt you is your greatest enemy you should pray for them. Love them even. I know that's tough. Like Matthew said Its hard to forgive and pray for those that don't deserve it. Just think of how God forgave you and made you his child when he owed us nothing. We didn't deserve any of it! He did it because he loves us!

I know we all struggle with Forgiveness. I cried myself to sleep most nights for about a month this past school year. Looking from the outside, people don't understand why it affect me so much. Why it tore me up so much what was done to us, but on the inside, we understood. I watched my family feel pain, anger, hate, over the situation. I don't like when people hurt my family and friends. I didn't even care that I was being hurt, I cared that they were. I had hate in my heart.

I was broken inside. I didn't like to feel that way. I didn't like to be angry like that. For months I felt that anger, and honestly sometimes it still tries to come back. It really came back the first week of this school year. God is helping me so much though. He helped me find forgiveness, peace, happiness. on July 5th when I finally asked God to take that hate away and give me forgiveness, a weight was lifted off.

We all struggle with forgiveness. We all struggle with anger, with pain, hatred, sadness. God can take that all away from us. He did for me. Like I said those feeling still come back. When they do, take a moment to pray and ask God for peace.

Things do get easier. They will settle down and peace will come. Its a tough road, and a hard lesson to learn. It took me months to learn this lesson. The lesson of forgiving. Just remember God can save you. He can ease the pain, take the anger and hatred. Just let him in, let him take you for all that you are and make you new. You never have to fight that battle alone.

The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. - Exodus 14:14-

God Bless <3
                                                              
                                                                               Love,
                                                                                   Heaven April 






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