Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.
*Matthew 28:19-20*
This week at S.W.A.G my friend and fellow leader Bethany taught the lesson. (: She was very excited and did an amazing job. She taught the Birth of Christ. Since we were leaving for Christmas Break we felt this was a good lesson to teach all the students. We had 21 kids in S.W.A.G this past Friday, this is more then we have ever had. It was amazing, God is really working in the lives of the students and Paint Rock High School. <3
The Birth of Christ
What is Christmas?
What exactly was the Birth of Christ?
What gets the Most attention during this time of the year?
What should we celebrate?
Okay, so what's the deal with Christmas? what is the point of it? The obvious answer is that its the beginning of our salvation, but if we take a good look at the bible, that's not so. They've been talking about it since the Old Testament! The most popular one is Isiah 53, which seems like it's talking about stuff to teach a lesson, in the same way proverbs does, but if you take a closer look, it pretty much details the entire Life of Christ. Right there.... and again in Isiah 7:14, which is actually directly quoted in the Gospel of Matthew. Then again in Micah 5. IF you look at them, its kind of eerie how well they predicted the Birth of Christ. Oh, the best part? Isiah was completed about 500 years before the Birth of Christ! The book of Micah was written only maybe a little after. I know it's only my personal opinion, but that seems a little to hardcore to not have been planned. So, if the Birth of Christ has been talked about for CENTURIES, what did the actual even mean for us? Why celebrate the day of Christs birth, if its been known throughout a huge period of time? Why go through such lengths to celebrate it, if it's not what actually saved us from sin? Resolution Its actually pretty simple, and its something I want you to try and wrap your brains around.
The Birth of Christ is when it became REAL. Think about the real gravity of that. Think about it. Hard. A baby boy was brought into the world, like they are every day, hundreds of them. He was Born among the filth of animals because his mother had no other place. Something like that now would be considered a Tragedy.
And because this kid was born in a barn some 2000 years ago, everything in the world, all the way to you sitting here reading this, has been completely changed. The night this kid was born, people trembled, and kings were brought to their knees.
That is why we celebrate the Birth of Christ. It's when things became tangible, its when all those words from the old testament became real. It was the first step of our salvation to Earth, and the beginning of his trip to the cross.
This was a powerful lesson and one I had never really been taught on. It was amazing to be a student at S.W.A.G instead of the teacher. I learned something new. The kids, i feel, got alot out of this lesson. People are saying God is gone from schools... they need to take a trip to Paint Rock. God is present, God is near, God is there. We pray, We hand out bibles, We lead worship, We teach his word. God is always with us, he never leaves. Even when we step on the school grounds He is still there. I felt his presence Friday. I feel his presence always when I'm walking through the halls of my school.
Remember why we really celebrate Christmas. Its not about the gifts, food, parties, its bout Christ. On the day he was born, we were saved. If He was never born, I would not be here writing this right now. Like Bethany said, its when things became real.
I just wanted to share this with you guys. I did not write this nor could I even imagine writing something this beautiful. We all have heard about the shooting and the loss of children and adults at Sandy Hook Elementary. It is a tragic event but we have to remember that God still has a plan. It may be hard for some to see his plan right now, but He never leaves us nor forsakes us. I just wanted to share this poem that someone wrote. It brought tears to my eyes, but it also brought me peace. It reminded me that those children are in a better place now. They are in the safest place that anyone could be in. <3 Please take a few moments to read this poem, and also take a few moments to pray for those who lost their family members and children in the shooting. Pray for healing and peace to be brought among their loved ones.
* For God is not a God of disorder but of peace* 1 Corinthians 14:33
Twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38 when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate. their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air. they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there. they were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say. they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day. "where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse. "this is heaven." declared a small boy. "we're spending Christmas at God's house." when what to their wondering eyes did appear, but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near. He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same. then He opened His arms and He called them by name. and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring those children all flew into the arms of their King and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace, one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face. and as if He could read all the questions she had He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad." then He looked down on earth, the world far below He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand, "Let My power and presence re-enter this land!" "may this country be delivered from the hands of fools" "I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!" then He and the children stood up without a sound. "come now my children, let me show you around." excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran. all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can. and i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight, "in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."
My heart aches for this town, victims, family, and friends affected by the shooting at Sandy Hook. Im not sure who started this, but I want to support it. Please just life a prayer up for all of the families, friends, and towns members. The power of prayer is breathtaking, so even if you cant donate please pray. This is a tragic situation and we should turn to God during this difficult, heart breaking time, not away from Him.
On Tuesday, December 18th, there will be a blogger day of silence. We
will post the button and that's it. Please try to not post anything else
that day if possible.
We are also raising money that will go to an organization in the memory of this tragedy. The organization is callednewtownyouthandfamilyservices
Here is the official description of the support service we are donating to:
"Newtown Youth and Family Services, Inc. is a licensed, non-profit, mental health clinic
and youth services bureau dedicated to helping children and families achieve their
highest potential. NYFS provides programs, services, activities, counseling, support
groups and education throughout the Greater Newtown area.
ANY DONATIONS MADE TO NEWTOWN YOUTH AND FAMILY SERVICES WILL BE DONATED
DIRECTLY TO THOSE EFFECTED BY THE SANDY HOOK ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
SHOOTING."
We can't imagine how they must be feeling, especially this close to the
holidays. We would love for you to spread the word on your own blog,
Facebook, Twitter, etc. Let's make a difference and use blogging in a
positive way.
So this past week was not the easiest. I had a lot going on and instead of sharing with others, I kept it all inside until I exploded. I felt that nothing was going right. I was misinterpreting text messages, I was super stressed and hurt, and I was upset and angry. All of those feelings mixed together along with me keeping them bottled up inside was not a smart idea.
One day it all became to much and I broke down. I was so angry, upset, hurt that I was shaking and couldn't calm down. I was talking to one of my friends and she sent me to Psalms 107. At first I didn't want to read the bible, I wanted to have my little melt down and handle it my self. That was a mistake on my part. After procrastinating a little, I decided to read it.
Instantly I noticed a repeating pattern. In verses 6,13, 19 and 28 the same thing is written over and over again. "Then they cried out to Him in their trouble, and He delivered them from their distress." Instantly upon reading that, I was able to quite shaking, I calmed down, and I felt peace.
How amazing is that? That if we cry out to God, He really does answer! I am living proof of that. I cried out and he brought me peace and calmness. Throughout the whole week I have used Psalm 107when talking to kids who are in need. I actually ended up teaching S.W.A.G this week out of this Psalm.
I just find that mind blowing, that God hears even our deepest cries. He brings us peace, joy and delivers us when we are in trouble. Bad things are going to happen to us, we will face times of trouble. That's life. God never promised that this life would be easy, but He did promise it would be possible. The amazing thing is, that even during our darkness times. Times when we feel we have no one that we are alone on this crazy ride called life, God assures us that He is with us. That he will never leave.
He assures us that if we trust in him, and call out to him; He will deliver us from that distress. One thing everyone needs to realize that, Yes, God delivers and answers prayers, but No its not always right away. God does not work on our time. He works on His own time. He has three answers. "Yes, maybe, and No I have something better planned." God has a plan for our lives. He sees what is ahead for us, even when we cant. He knows the burdens of our heart and He knows how to heal our wounds.
Cry out to Him. Trust in Him. Believe in Him. Have faith in Him. He will deliver you from your distress. His time is the right time. Be patient and remember you are loved. Someone is always there even during hard times. Someone is there to hold you when you cry. We can always run to arms that never close.
They cried out to Him in their trouble, and He delivered them from their distress. (Psalm 107:6,13,19,28)
Blessings come in all shapes and forms. A blessing could be an A on an exam to the news of a new baby. I have so many blessings in my life. I would like to just list a few and share some photos of my blessings with you all. Please feel free to share some of your blessings with me and everyone else. (:
This is my best friend <3 I trust her completely and she is always there when I need her. We have one of the best friendships because it is all built around God. We met through a mutual friend at a christian concert. We started talking again during a found raiser for camp two summers ago, and that summer we became best friends. Shes helped me through alot and God truly blessed me with an amazing bestie! <3 She also knows how to make me laugh when im upset (: For instance- why was the bear afraid to cross the road?? ...... Because it was berry scared!!! (: haha best joke ever!
This is Coach wood and Mrs. Wood <3 Coach wood is the first preacher I have ever had. I didn't really go to church much until I attended Paint Rock Baptist. Mrs. Wood was the first Sunday school teacher I had. Even though they are no longer at our church, they are still blessings in my life. They helped me so much in my walk with Christ.
Stormi and Johnathan <3 I could say a lot about these two. They have kept me going at times. It was actually Stormi who started taking me to church and camp. Shes been a huge part in my walk with Christ. Her family and her have accepted me like I am one of them. I am truly thankful for all they have done for me. They are all blessings <3
My big sister and my rock star <3 Me and my sister fight but she has been there through it all. We have been through so much together. I can not even think of life without her <3 There is so much I can say about my little rock star. She is the light in a world of dark. She was a blessing to all of us and sometimes I feel she is what keeps my family together. <3 I love her more than words can say.
These guitars have gotten me through some pretty dark times <3 No matter what mood I am these ladies and gentlemen can cheer me up. I treat them as if they are my babies. Music is a great way to grow closer with God, and it was through music that I first felt God's presence.
My bible <3 The best way to grow closer to God is by reading his word. No matter what, no matter what pain, joy, or angry, no matter what mood I'm in, Gods word makes it all better. He gives me hope, joy, peace, and love when I feel I have none. With God all things are possible. God is my blessing <3 although I don't deserve all He gives me, he keeps giving. His love is unconditional. We must decrease, He must increase <3
I know that I have shared this song before but it falls under the category of a blessing. <3 The first church camp I ever went to of summer 11' the band played this song the first nigh and I fell apart. When they sang "Take my life and let it be all for you and for your glory. Take my life and let it be yours" that was when I feel I felt God for the first time. This song is a blessing and makes me cry each time I hear it <3
I have many many more blessings in my life. Life itself is a blessing, the breath I'm breathing and things I'm seeing are blessings. Blessings come in all shapes and forms. The smallest thing, such as a butterfly, can be a blessing in your life. Look for these blessings in your daily life. If you focus more on God and his love, peace, hope, blessings and less on your problems; you will see a difference in your own life. Just believe and seek the things above. God bless <3
So for the past three weeks the S.W.A.G meetings have been in the lunchroom during lunch. That means there is lots of distractions and lots of noise. Today was a big step for S.W.A.G, we finally got a classroom and a teacher to sponsor the group.! (: I didn't know how much having an actual room to meet in would make such a difference.
I had a lesson planned over some scripture in 2 Corinthians. This was not the lesson God had planned out for us. I'm half way through the lesson and I pause and ask if anyone has questions. Out of no where, completely off topic, one of the kids asks me how to be baptized. This made my heart skip a beat. I wanted to cry, I was so proud of him <3
From that moment on we never did get back to the lesson. We talked about baptism for a little bit and made plans to do a lesson over it next week. We got on the subject of the power of prayer and how others praying for you when your going through a hard time really helps. We talked about blessings and personal ones God has brought into our lives.
The topic became God and anything he was putting on our hearts. It was truly amazing <3 We got to know each other a little better today. I got a glimpse into the lives of the kids around me. I truly felt God's presence during today. I loved that He was putting all of these things in our heart and that He gave us the opportunity to come together and share them.
At the end of the meeting my Spanish teacher pulled me aside and told me how proud of me she was. That was the first time she had ever seen me teach and she said I have a gift (: That nearly made me cry. I also had some of the kids tell me "thank you" and my friends telling me I'm good at this. That truly means alot to me.
I am beyond bless to have these meetings and the kids in it. God is truly at work in us. When one of the girls in the group comes up to you and asks what she can do to continue the meetings next year. That really makes me so proud! We have only had four meetings and I can see growth in the kids and in myself. No matter what kind of week i have had I look forward to Fridays! I look forward to spending that time in God's name with people I Love.
God is amazing. His blessings leave you speechless and He fills us with so much love. He is always with us. He always works things out in his own time. Just believe and know He has a plan. <3
These are three powerful testimonies that have left me with chills and tears<3
This one is of Lanae Hale, who is a christian singer. She has a beautiful voice and a powerful testimony. This testimony really touched me because she dealt with some of the same pain I did. She dealt with the self-harming that I struggled with for years.
This next one is from Tiffany Darlene. I first came in contact with this video because of my youth leader James. One day he told me that he had this video he wanted me to check out. I did not knowing what to expect. I was left speechless and in tears. I got the opertunitunity to talk to Tiffany over facebook. Her testimony is powerful and I'm glad she decided to share it with everyone and that she gave me permission to share it with all of you.
Most of you have probably heard of the band flyleaf. I'm not sure how I even came in contact with this video. I was on YouTube looking up christian artist and this video came up. I decided to watch and I was amazing. The power of God is so amazing and truly does save. Lacey is proof of that.
All these three testimonies are ones that have inspired me. They are powerful and raw. Its incredible how God saves. It is incredible how he loves us. He can take the broken and make them whole. Please take the time to watch these videos. They are pretty powerful. Expect chills, tears and to be left speechless. I know I was.
To see more powerful videos check out I AM SECOND on YouTube. They have artist who have decided to share their testimonies. All of them are miraculous. If anyone would like to share their testimonies with people let me know and I would be more than glad to share them on here :)
God created us and all that we are. The very air we are breathing is because of Him. He gave us the sun and the moon, night and day. Without him there is no life.
Genesis 1:27
So God created man in his own image;
In the image of God he created him;
Male and female He created them.
God wants us to strive to be like him. He created us in the image of his self. He saw us broken and hurt and gave us life. He took us as sinners and said I love you, come be with me. God is the reason we are here right now. The reason we are breathing and living.
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
God knows every sin we commit. He knows that none of us are perfect and that we fall short of his glory most times. (Romans 3:23) The miraculous thing is, that He loves us anyways. He forgives us when we commit those sins. He shows us that in Him is forgiveness and Faith fullness. He says to confess to him and he will cleanse us.
1 Chronicles 28:20
Be strong and courageous and do the work. Do not be afraid for the task ahead. For the Lord God, even my God is with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. Until all the work for the service of the house of the Lord is finished.
Hebrews 13:5
I will never leave you nor forsake you.
God is always there. He never leaves us, he never forsakes us. If we call upon Him, He will answer. He gets us through the difficult times and comforts us in the sad. He weeps with us and laughs with us. He will let no temptation overtake us and he provides a way out so that we can endure the pain of life. God tells us to do the work, live for him, and sometimes we may be put down for living for Him, but He is always there.
Life gets hard, and people will tear you apart. They will shun you because of the love and work you do for God. Do not be afraid for what is ahead He never leaves, He never forsakes us.
John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
God will give us peace when those tough times come. He gives us peace when we are stressed, angry, upset and broken. The world will give us false peace, false hope, false love, but God doesn't. He says to not let our hearts be troubled, don't let them be afraid. He will take care of us.
John 3:16
For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
2 Corinthians 5:14
For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one had died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who died for their sake died and was raised.
God sent His only son to die for each and every one of us. The least we can do is die to ourselves and live to Him. God is in control of our lives. He knows everything about us, more then we even know about ourselves. He has a plan for our lives. (Jeremiah 29:11) Jesus died for all of us so that we can have life. We need to live that life for God.
There is so many reasons why we live for God. Trust in Him. Let Him lead guide and direct your life. Fully commit yourselves to Him. Give God the burdens of your hearts. He will be there when you feel like no one else is. God can take the brokenness of your life and heal you, if you let him. Believe and trust in Him.
Food, family, food, friends, food..... Thats what thanksgiving is about right? Getting together with family and eating till the button on your pants pop. Watching football games and parades all morning. All the family in the kitchen cooking and eating as you go. By the time the food is on the table a quarter of it is gone from picking at it all morning. The kids are running around watching the parade and playing made up games. The men are in the living room screaming for their favorite teams. You all sit down and eat and catch up on life. Then its back to the couch for more football and a nap. Thats the traditional thanksgiving right??
All those things are amazing and great but they mean nothing if you dont give thanks back to the one whomade that possible.The definiton of thanksgiving is "an act of giving thanks; an expression of gratitude,EXPECIALLY to GOD."
Until this thanksgiving I dont think I truly understood the real meaning of thanksgiving. My family and I had made the food, watched the games, ate, and napped, but I dont remember ever giving thanks or saying waht we are thankful for. This year I went to what I consider my second family's house for thanksgiving. They did something that I never had before. They went around the room and we all said what we were thankful for. Then we got in a circle and prayed. That made me really take a step back and recognize all the blessing God has put upon me. It made me realize that I do not thank him enough. Have you ever felt like that? Like your celebrating a holiday without really celebrating? I know it sound a little confusing, but I have always celebrated thanksgiving but never have I really celebrated God and told him how thankful I am.
There is so much I am thankful for but I never tell Him. Im thankful he looks past my mistakes and loves me. Im thankful he brought the Walker/Kiser family into my life. Im thankful he brought my church family into my life. Im thankful he brought my two best friends to help me along the way. Im thankful for my family no matter how crazy we are. Im thankful for the kids that attend S.W.A.G. and that God has made that possible. Im thankful I have a roof over my head and food. Im thankful for being able to see, talk, just for being healthy. Im thankful for having the ability to have this blog and for all those who read it. I am thankful for those who barley knwo me but help me so much in my walk with God. There are so many things I am thankful for but they often go unsaid.
God made all things possible, and this really is a day to celebrate Him. Having the thanksgiving traditions and food is amazing dont get me wrong. I LOVE FOOD! :) but we need to remember to thank who made that all possible. Here is some scripture on giving thanks.
Offer to God the sacrifice of thanksgiving, and pay your vows to the Most High.(Psalm 50:14)
Giving thanks to the father, who has qualified and made us fit to sahre the portion which is the inheritance of the saints in the light.(Colossians 1:12)
Thank God in everything no matter what the circumstances may be, be thankful and give thanks, for this is the will of God for you who are in Christ Jesus.(1. Thessalonians 5:18)
Those are just a few verses about giving thanks there is so many more! Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays but rememeber to give thanks to the one who gave you this day.
What are you thankful for on this day? What are you thankful for everyday?
So on Friday of last week, we held our first ever Paint Rock S.W.A.G meeting. Which is a student led bible study started by Me and 3 of my friends. I was the first to teach a lesson. I was so nervous, shaky, and scared. I had never taught to more than 2 people at a time. I expected it to be me and the other three girls and maybe 1 or 2 others, I think about 10 kids showed up and there was a group of 5 girls behind us listing in. That was an amazing experience <3 God was there with us and speaking through me.
The first lesson I went over was the Growing as A Christian lesson. Many times when people accept Christ they don't advance any further. This can cause many problems. We have to grow in God. I was taught this lesson shortly after I was saved, and I thought it would be a good beginner to our group. So here it is. (: Enjoy (:
There are six basic components to growing as a christian. 1. Internalize the Word.(Psalm 119:5) (Psalm 119:105) (II Tim. 3:16,17) 2. Prayer(Philippians 4:6,7) 3. Fellowship(Hebrews 10:25) 4. Witness (Acts 1:8) 5. Giving (Luke 3:38) 6. Obedience(John 14:21) (I John 2:3)
1. Internalize the word. This means to do 5 things. A. Hear- hear the word of God B. Read- we need to read the bible to grow. C. Study- We have to study what we read and make sure we understand. D. Memorize- Its a good idea to memorize the word so that you can preach it to others. E. Meditate- Meditate on what you have heard, read, studied,and memorized. Reflect and think 'how can I use this in my life.
2. Prayer which falls under 4 categories. A. Adoration/Praise- read the psalms for more information. B. Confession- (1 John 1:9)- Confess to God your sins. Let him help you and ask for forgiveness. C. Thanksgiving- (Eph. 5:20) (I thess. 5:18)- It is easy to pray to God when things are going bad, but we should also pray to him and give thanks to him. D. Supplication ( Needs, Requests) - Intercession which is praying for others ( Colossians 13) - Petition which is praying for yourself. (1 John 5:14)
3. Fellowship- Fellowship means interaction between believers in which the body of Christ is strengthened. Tell others about God and his grace and beauty. S.W.A.G is fellowship.
4. Witness-In a way that is what I am doing. Witnessing is telling others the word of God. Telling them your story and what God has done in your life.
5. Giving. There are three ways to give back to God. A. Time- God wants to spend time with us. He wants for us to confined in him. Giving our time to God is the least we can do. B. Talents- which are your gifts. It can be teaching, preaching, music, anything. God gives us each our own unique gift and when we find that gifts we should use it to give back to God. C. Money- there is scripture in 2 Corinthians's that tells us we should give a certain amount of our earning to the offering to strengthen the church.
6. Obedience. I feel this is the hardest one to do while Growing as a christian. We have to be obedient to God and his word. We have to do the work and do what he tells us to. We are called to be people of the word. To live in his image and to share his mercy.
Have you ever been told you can't do something? I'm not talking something like drugs, because honestly you can do that, but you shouldn't. I'm talking about something like going to a certain college, or teaching, or being a youth leader, you know things like that. So many people give up on something they are passionate about because they are told they can not do it. When your told so many times that you will never reach your goals, that you will never live your dream, you start to believe it.
DON'T.God says something different.
1. He says "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."Jeremiah 29:11
If it is part of God's plan for you to reach that goal or to live your dream, then it will happen. He knows us before we are even born and he knows what kind of life. No one can predict that. No one can tell you you cant to do it. God tells you he has a plan.
2. Most people know this verse. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.Philippians 4:13.
I know its used alot but this verse holds so much meaning. When people tear you down and tell you that you cant do something, let them know that through your God all things are made possible.
3. Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. 1 Chronicles 28:20
The task in front of you may be hard. It may seem like the world is against you. Do not be afraid. Face every task with adversity. The world is always going to disagree. God says he is with you. He will not fail or forsake you. Don't let what others say discourage you. Do the work.
Those are just a few verses to help you get through troubled times. I face times when i feel the world is against me. God reminds me that he is with me. He tells me that I can do anything through him. He will not give me more then I can handle and he always provides a way. God is amazing like that!
Keep your head up. Take a stand, and show those people that you can do it. Trust in God and his plan for you. He will provide, always.
I have never done this before. I have never shared my story, my testimony with anyone including myself. God put it on my heart to share with all of you. So here it is. This is my life <3
My life before Jesus-
My life before I accepted God is not one I am proud of. I wasn’t mean, and I never really was a “bad” child that got into trouble. I did however have an addiction that separated me from Jesus. I struggled with cutting. It started in 7th grade and it was only a few times, it wasn’t to deep. Then my freshman year in high school, it got serious. I was being bullied in school and dealing with a lot in my family life. There were days that I didn’t want to live any longer. It got that bad sometimes. I never really attempted suicide, but the thoughts were there. I lied constantly to the ones I loved about where the scratches and scars came from. Sometimes I would say the cat attacked me, and others I would say I fell. I wore jackets constantly and always had bracelets around my wrist to hide the marks. The cuts got deeper and deeper and if you look, you can still see the scars of my past on my arms and wrist. There were few people that knew about my problem. I had and sometimes I still have problems with letting people in. People always leave. The few that I did tell of my addiction left me behind. They didn’t want to deal with someone like me. Someone who was so broken and hurt. It took years for someone to step up and do something to help me. Not only did I self harm myself constantly, but I also cried myself to sleep every night for a long time. I hated life, and I often wanted it to end. I put on a fake smile for the world and got through the day, but at night I was empty and broken. I tried to act like things didn’t affect me. That it was okay all my friends hated me, that it was okay that my family was falling apart, that it was okay I hated life. I told myself it would end one day, that I would feel happiness. I told myself that but I never believed it and inside I was dying.
How I realized I needed Jesus-
Coming to the realization that I needed God was not a overnight task. When I really realized I needed Jesus, was when someone knew that I was cutting and crying myself to sleep and they actually tried to help instead of pushing me away. One day me and my best friend got in a huge fight. She knew that I cut and she used that against me. How I interpreted what she said was “You are the reason im cutting” That hit me hard. I never meant to cause anyone to do that to themselves, especially not my best friend. That evening I put a status on facebook that I guess alarmed someone. Right after I posted it Stormi, I babysat her son and she gave me rides to school, calls me. I can’t remember what all was said but she ended up coming over and picking me up. She took me to her house and gave me pizza and we sat outside on her porch talking for hours. I think there were more crying then talking. I told her everything. That was something I had never done before. I had never been so exposed and emotional in front of someone. Like I said, I had a problem letting people in. Very few people knew what was going on with me, and those that knew only knew a fraction. Here I was telling this person everything. I let it all out, and didn’t hold much back. I remember shaking and being terrified. Most people who I told, I just told a little bit and they still judged me and most didn’t speak to me again. I was telling Stormi everything and I was scared she would never speak to me just as everyone else did. As you can see, I have a fear of people leaving. She didn’t though. She started a 7 day cutting bible plan with me. When I was doing the plan, I really did not understand much of what I was reading. I had never really been told about God and I didn’t go to church. There was one verse that I understood and that stuck with me. To this day, it’s still my favorite verse that I go to when im hurting. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, “Or do you not know that your bodies are temple of the Holy spirit who is in you. For you are not your own, you were bought at a price, therefore you must glorify God in all that you do.” Then one Sunday she took me to church. I started going to church to escape my house, to escape the yelling and fighting, but it turned into so much more. That is when I knew I needed Jesus. I finally found someone who cared and who wasn’t leaving, and who loved God. That was a love I had never experienced and I realized that was the only kind of love that could save me. I needed Jesus to heal me, to protect me, to save me.
How I received Jesus-
The story of how I received Jesus is a long, troubling, amazing one. That’s just my perspective, though. As I mentioned before I started to attend church and I knew something was changing. However, I had not let go, and I had not accepted God as my savior yet. On July 17, 2011 I attended my first ever church camp. It was master’s camp, at Alto Frio. This was a new scary, exciting, and thrilling experience for me. I had no idea what to expect when I decided to go to camp. I also did not know how much one week would change my life forever.
The first day of camp was terrifying. I could feel something I just didn’t know what it was. I kind of separated myself from the group and was very quiet. Not because I was upset or angry or stuck up, I just felt something I had never felt before. That night at worship something changed. The band branch was performing Glory to God. When they sang the words “Take my life and let it be all for you and for your glory, take my life and let it be yours,” I broke down. It was like God took every scar I had ever made on myself and ripped them open for the world to see. I felt so exposed and vulnerable. Looking back on it now, I was feeling God for the first time. He was exposing me and trying to get me to let him heal me. That night I did not, but the time for me to fully accept Jesus was coming. That night I stayed up after the service talking and praying with our youth leader Stormi. She was the only one I trusted to tell what I felt that night. She was the only one that knew what I was going through. I remember her encouraging me to talk to one of the counselors that were at the camp. She told me she felt one of them could help council me more then she could with what I was going through. I said no, I didn’t trust to tell anyone else. I didn’t want to tell anyone else.
The next day God spoke to me. He told me that I needed help. That I needed to talk to someone, and that if I did I would be able to fully give my life to Him. So I did. That second night I went to Stormi and told her I wanted to talk to someone. Immediately she took me to a woman names Stephanie. I talked to her for hours just pouring everything out. I told her about my cutting, suicidal thoughts, family. I didn’t hold very much back. Once again I was shaking and scared, but I knew it was what God wanted me to do. It felt amazing to tell someone. It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Still something was affecting me. I didn’t feel whole and I didn’t as free as I thought I would. Something was still missing. God was still missing.
The third night at camp is when my life changed forever. As soon as we walked to the tabernacle for services I could feel that my life was about to change. We went through worship and the service. At the end of the service the pastor had us all stand and bow our heads and close our eyes. He had us pray a prayer with him, and he asked if there was anyone there that had not accepted God. I was among the ones who raised their hands. With our heads still bowed and our eyes closed he said “If you would like to accept Jesus as your Lord and savior, please come to the front.” I lifted my head, opened my eyes and walked forward. As I was walking that empty void started to fill with love. I could feel God leading me to the front telling me that everything will be okay. I could feel him telling me that I don’t have to hide anymore, that he would take all my pain, worries, fears, into his own hands and I would be free. Walking to the front of the tabernacle was the most amazing walk of my life. That was the walk that changed my life. I was feeling so many different emotions. I was happy for the first time in a long time. I felt love, freedom, change, strength, power. I felt Gods light. I felt God start to break down all the walls I had built up for years. I felt him slowly take my hand and lead me. It was the most amazing feeling ever. I had let go and Let God. He took my life and made it his. He healed my scars, He healed my heart. That moment that I accepted God is one that I will never forget.
How Jesus has changed my life-
I have never been the same. That moment truly changed my life forever. I got back home and it was different. I felt like I could conquer the world. I felt like nothing could bring me down. I was happy, and I don’t know how to explain it. I was different. I would be lying if I said i never fell again. I did. I fell hard and I started to cut again. God took that away again. He reminded me that I didn’t need to cut to make the pain end. That all I needed to do was look towards him. To pray to Him. God has given meaning to my life. Since July 20, 2011 so many amazing things have happened in my life. Im not going to sit here and say that everything is perfect now. That im living a life full of joy and happy times. Im not. I still struggle and break. The only difference now is that I do have God. He gets me through the tough times; he fixes me when I break. I try to live for God. I try to shine his light through my life. I want to do His work and lead others to Him. I know sometimes I fall short but I pray daily to be a better version of myself. So many blessings have been put into my life since I accepted Christ. He has changed every aspect of my life. He has taken the scars and healed them. He took my family and made us whole again. He put the people in my life that I need, and got rid of the ones that I didn’t. He has put things on my heart that I never considered before. Such as youth ministry and mission work. Never in my life did I think I would be striving to be a youth leader, a psychologist. Never did I think I would have a passion to do mission work. He has given me the strength I need to make it through the day. He has given me life again. I want to live for him, I want to share His word. I want to tell everyone of the Love I have gained through him. I want to help the broken hearted. I want to help the lost get found. I owe everything to God. When I feel lost and alone, he puts me on the right path.
One thing that made a difference in my life and the reason I keep strong in my walk with God, is that I have people who help me along the way. God has brought some amazing people in my life. There are so many God- led people in my life now and they keep me going. That’s the power of God. He knows what we need, and when we need it and He will provide! He gave me an amazing best friend that its is through Him that we have grown closer.He gave me friends who stuck with me through it all and have helped me in my walk. He gave me a second family who I trust with everything and who help me with anything. He gave me a chruch family who support and care for me. He gave me strangers who helped guide me in the right direction. He also gave me my family back. Even though we fight and scream and yell we love each other. God is the reason for that Love. More importantly God opened his arms to me and invited me in. He gives me strength when I am weak and Joy when I am sad. God has given me everything in life that I could ever need.
I was thinking back to the summer when I helped at a VBS at a local baptist church. I had a group of about 10 kids that 5-10 that i was leader of. One of the things that we did with them everyday when they first showed up, was we had paper and had them tell us their God sightings.
Whats a God sighting you might ask? How it was described to the kids is a God sighting is when you see God during the day, in everyday things. Some of the kids said their dogs, the sky, the trees, and one little boy even told me I was his God sighting.
I have many God sightings. For example, during the summer I would go and play my guitar everyday outside. It was dark, I was alone, and I just talked with God for hours letting it all go. One day I was frustrated and upset. I screamed at God, "Give me a sign! Let me know you really hear me!." Just as I did that lights in the sky began to blink. I had been staring at these lights for hours now. I thought they were just stars. Then with tears in my eyes, I saw them light up. That was a God sighting for me. I knew God did hear me when I spoke with him and he did answer my prayer. When that happened its like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders.
Another example of a God sighting for me actually happened last night. My sister, her husband, and my 2 year old niece have came down to visit for the week. (: Last night we were all sitting in the living room ready to watch a movie and eat dinner together. I was about to take my first bite and my niece stops us. She had to say her prayers. She bowed her head and closed her hands, then she said Thank you God, Thank you Jesus, we love you. It nearly brought tears to my eyes. My two year old niece left me breathless. Up until 2 years ago I hardly ever prayed. Here was my baby niece praying like she had been doing it for years. I saw God shine through during that moment.
Those are just a few of my God sightings. God is everywhere. He is in the air we breath and the ground we walk on. He is by our side through thick and thin. Never will he leave us, never will he forsake us. During our hardest times he will reveal his self to us. During our joyful times he will smile down on us. He holds us while we cry and brings the right people at the right time into our lives. He shows us that we are worth more then Gold. He shows us the light and leads our path. God does everything and is everywhere.
Next time your outside, look for God in the clouds. Look for him in your niece or your dog. (: You can find God anywhere and everywhere.
I would love to hear some of you guys God sightings (:
I just wanted to share this video that I was shown at Church camp this past summer. Just please watch it and really listen to what he is saying.
Watching this really opened my eyes up to some things. God is everything. He is the reason we are alive. He is the reason for our breath. We can try as hard as we want to fix ourselves, we will fail each time. There is only one person who can fix us and make us whole. That is God. He gave his only son to die for us. You can not find anyone right now who is perfect enough to take your sins as their own and die for you, so you can have an everlasting life. We shouldnt worship fake Idols, we should worship Jesus and God.
God. Our. Sins. Paying. Everyone. Life.
That is one siple sentence that can change your life. This video is truly an inspiration. Can you take 5 miniutes our of your day to be inspired?
So I just wanted to share something that has really gotten me through a lot. This prayer is on that I can say no matter what and instantly feel relief. I hope it can do the same for you. <3
God can work miracles. He can heal the Broken hearted and fix the blinded eyes. He can give us courage and wisdom and serenity. With God no obstacle will be to tough! God is worth of our praises day and night. During the bad and the good lift your hands to God.
I know that I haven't been updating lately, for that I am sorry. I guess I haven't been inspired lately. Then again God inspires me everyday to keep moving forward. I am going to work harder on updating my blog more often. I have a lot of cool ideas to come and I hope they work out (: So be patient with me please! and keep checking out my blog! (:
Music is one of the many ways we can praise God. This happens to be the most natural way, for me, to praise God.
Music is something that has been there for me since I was 10. Actually earlier then that, 10 is just the age I picked up my guitar and I haven't put it down since then. I cant sing to save my life, but that does not mean that I cant praise God with music. The trumpet, harp, lyre, strings, cymbals, these are just a few of the instruments we can use to praise God. My instrument of choice is strings.
My favorite thing to do is sit outside on a nice night with my guitar and look up to the stars and play guitar. Music is a powerful thing. I believe that music can save your life. I know it saved mine. The first time I truly felt God and let him in was during a song called Glory to God. The moment the singer sang 'take my life and let it be all for you and for your glory, take my life and let it be yours' I felt God telling me to give my life to him. To let go of all the pain, anger, confusion, that I felt and give it to him.
There are many ways to praise God. When I'm sitting outside playing my guitar, that's when I feel Gods presence stronger then ever. I know he is listing to me, and he loves it, no matter how bad I play.
We all have that power inside of us to Praise God. Find the way that you feel closest to him when praising. I have found mine. Have you?
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
Romans 12:12
Being patient and knowing God has it all figured out can be frustrating sometimes. I know how this is. Its hard, life is hard. Trouble times come and it seem like the wold is against us. Ive felt this way for a few weeks now and it got to the point where I took my anger and confusion out on the ones I love. I had the rejoicing in hope down, its the patient in tribulation that I'm struggling with.
Have you ever felt this way? Torn apart, down to nothing, like one wrong move and your going to loose it. I think we all have. Patience is a lesson that's hard but very rewarding when we learn it.
But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
Romans 8:25
Have you ever noticed that when hard times come, we pray and hope for a better day? That better day may not come right away but it will come. We cant see it, or tell when it will be, but wait for it with patience. The days get easier one moment at a time.
Don't let those bad days, those tough moments turn your eyes from God. Don't let that pain and confusion take control of your life. That is when you are most vulnerable, and that is when the devil plays his little games. Don't let him have that satisfaction. Be patient. Rejoice in hope and be patient in tribulations.
Its easy to praise God when all is right. Can you do it when all is wrong? No matter what people take from you there is one thing they will never get. Its the most important. They will never take God from you. Pray. Pray for a better day, pray for a clear mind and open heart. Pray for God to take the pain away, and He will answer. It says in Matthew that if we ask we shall receive.
Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.
Matthew 7:7-8
Be constant in prayer and patient in tribulation. Praise God in the good, and in the bad. In the light, and in the dark. Give it all to God and, in his time, everything will work out. Better days are just around the corner.
God bless <3
Love,
Heaven April.
Here is a link to some more scripture on patience (: Enjoy.
