This year has been a year of change, a year of lessons, a year with no regrets. This has been a year that has made me cling to my father and be thankful for the little things. This year I have learned so much and I have grown in so many ways.
This year I ended a chapter of my life by graduating High School. Even though the road wasn't always easy, I struggled often, I made it. By Gods grace I was given the privilege of walking across the stage and receiving my diploma. Senior year was not an easy one. I struggled a lot. The one thing that kept me going was S.W.A.G, the student led bible study that we started that year. Those kids taught me so much about myself. They helped me realize that kids have the power to change the world. They made me realize that even when things are hard we cling to the savior of the world. The biggest thing they taught me was how to follow God's calling on my life. How to put aside my pride and my own dreams and follow after God's. Through S.W.A.G I was shown that by the power of God we all have to ability to change lives. They showed me Christ like love, and walked with me every step of the way. Through the good and through the bad.
For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.
-Matthew 18:20-
This year I struggled with an addiction that I have had for years, self harming. To be completely honest with you, I can not tell you when I stopped cutting. I don't recall if it was early 2013 or late 2012. The thoughts still arise sometimes. When times get hard I often fall to my old routines. This year I have learned that I don't have to relieve the pain on my own. God is fighting this battle with me and He will be the strength I don't have. When I fail, when my past come up, when the scars mock me, my God sustains me. He tells me of my worth and shows me unconditional love. The scars will never go away, but God has healed the wounds. The memories will always be there, but God has forgiven them. I hold close to the promise that I am not fighting this battle alone. We are not walking through life on our own. We have a savior who thinks we are worth everything. Who wants to fight for us, who does love us, and who will protect us. Hold to that promise.
The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still.
-Exodus 14:14-
This summer I was given two amazing opportunities. The first being given the privilege of going as the elementary and junior high youth girls sponsor at summer church camp.This was an eye opening, life changing experience. Two years ago if someone would have asked me to spend a week with eight junior high kids I would have laughed in your face. I never thought of myself as someone working with younger kids. This summer, I realized that is exactly what I want to do. Children see Christ in a way that we don't. Their love is still pure and their eyes still shielded. Being around the junior high girls was a blast. They saw life differently then I did. They didn't let the little things get them down. They jumped in and were eager to learn about Jesus. I learned patience, and how to view God in a different perspective. I learned how to just have fun and enjoy the moment when its here. This summer I also got the opportunity to go on my first mission trip to New Mexico, where I got to hang out on a Navajo Indian reservation. That week completely changed my life. It gave me a burning passion for missions. I was given the opportunity to meet so many amazing kids and adults. I connected with children who had very little. They lived in one bedroom houses with five brothers and sisters. They played with busted Frisbee, not x boxes. They cheered and screamed for bracelets. They stole food because that's what they had to do in order to get fed. They hid in the bushes hoping someone would come to play soccer with them. They broke my heart. One girl clung to me all week and I fell in love with her. She taught me how to value what I do have. She got excited when I fed her cotton candy and made me cry when she told me that her parents didn't feed her often. I saw what it looked like to have nothing, but also what it looked like to truly love God. I learned what it meant to serve others and put them before yourself. This summer my heart was changed.
In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words of he Lord Jesus Himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive."
- Acts 20:35-
This year I saw loss. I saw loss of faith, loss of hope, loss of loved ones, loss of life. I saw a church who fell and turned to worldly treasures. I saw people who turned back to earthly desires and lost sight of Heaven. I held those broken by loosing loved ones. Through all this loss I saw hope. I saw forgiveness. I watched a young girl loose the only parent that had ever been in here life. I watched as she fell apart and God picked her up and showed her love. I saw the strength she had and the assurance that God had a plan. I saw the pain she had in the mourning of her mother, but the love she had for our Father. I experience a church family fall apart and struggle to save what was left. Even when things seemed hopeless they clung to what little they had left. They clung to the promise that God would deliver them of their struggles and answer their prayers. I am still seeing people who once guided me in my walk loose their way. They have turned from the father and turned towards the riches of this world. The riches that will soon pass away. I saw myself begin to lose hope and begin to feel worthless. I struggled with identity and finding my place in this world. God showed me my worht and my place in His kingdom. Through all this loss I pray that God just carries everyone when they cant carry themselves. I know He knows the desires of our heart and will answer the prayer. He will forgive us and finds us worthy.
Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.
-Psalm 37:4
This year I began college. I began a new chapter in my life and one that was constantly being rewritten. Each day God taught me another lesson. The lesson of the power of prayer, the lesson of forgiveness, the lesson of self- worth, the lesson of patience, the lesson of obedience, I could go on and on with the lessons. I struggled more then I had before this semester. I struggled with fear of man and what others thought of me. I struggled with grades and discipline in studying. I struggled with the calling on my life. I struggled with letting my past define me. I struggled with my home life. Through all the lessons and all the struggles God bestowed blessing after blessing on my life. He gave me amazing friends that walked with me. They held me while I cried and rejoiced with me when I was joyful. They stayed up talking with me until 2 a.m and continued to point me towards Jesus. Some Friends are goofy and outgoing and caring. Some are calm and thoughtful but still caring. Some post sweet notes on my door to know that they are there for me and some barge right in the door and tell me in person. I found people that I call family and that I know will be with me through this next chapter in my life. I found a new church family that will never replace the old, but have a special place in my heart. A church who is welcoming and never gives up on us. They point us toward Christ and living a Christ like life. Dallas Baptist university has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. DBU has become my home and my comfort. It has challenged me and been the answer to my prayers.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, Plans to give you hope and a future."
-Jeremiah 29:11-
2013 will soon be the past. This year was a year of growth, just as 2014 will be and the years to follow. We are always growing in our walk with God. Look at the blessings, no matter how big or little they may be. Let those be your joy. When pain comes in the night remember that joy will come in the day. Hold on the promises of God and let Him lead your life. This life is one worth living, and the eternal life is one worth striving towards. As we close out this year reflect on all the good. What lessons have you learned? How has your heart changed? When have you felt hopeless and God has given you hope?
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
-Hebrews 11:1-
My prayer is that we can all reflect on the good and close out 2013 with a smile.
God bless <3
Heaven Slaughter
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