A year of growth

The mourning over a loved one, the brokenness of a family, the struggle with an addiction, the wounds from losing the battle, the pain of the forgotten, these are all things we struggle with. Things that I experienced in the year 2013. 

This year has been a year of change, a year of lessons, a year with no regrets. This has been a year that has made me cling to my father and be thankful for the little things. This year I have learned so much and I have grown in so many ways. 

This year I ended a chapter of my life by graduating High School. Even though the road wasn't always easy, I struggled often, I made it. By Gods grace I was given the privilege of walking across the stage and receiving my diploma. Senior year was not an easy one. I struggled a lot. The one thing that kept me going was S.W.A.G, the student led bible study that we started that year. Those kids taught me so much about myself. They helped me realize that kids have the power to change the world. They made me realize that even when things are hard we cling to the savior of the world. The biggest thing they taught me was how to follow God's calling on my life. How to put aside my pride and my own dreams and follow after God's. Through S.W.A.G I was shown that by the power of God we all have to ability to change lives. They showed me Christ like love, and walked with me every step of the way. Through the good and through the bad. 

For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.

-Matthew 18:20-

This year I struggled with an addiction that I have had for years, self harming. To be completely honest with you, I can not tell you when I stopped cutting. I don't recall if it was early 2013 or late 2012. The thoughts still arise sometimes. When times get hard I often fall to my old routines. This year I have learned that I don't have to relieve the pain on my own. God is fighting this battle with me and He will be the strength I don't have. When I fail, when my past come up, when the scars mock me, my God sustains me. He tells me of my worth and shows me unconditional love. The scars will never go away, but God has healed the wounds. The memories will always be there, but God has forgiven them. I hold close to the promise that I am not fighting this battle alone. We are not walking through life on our own. We have a savior who thinks we are worth everything. Who wants to fight for us, who does love us, and who will protect us. Hold to that promise. 

The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still. 

-Exodus 14:14- 

This summer I was given two amazing opportunities. The first being given the privilege of going as the elementary and junior high youth girls sponsor at summer church camp.This was an eye opening, life changing experience. Two years ago if someone would have asked me to spend a week with eight junior high kids I would have laughed in your face. I never thought of myself as someone working with younger kids. This summer, I realized that is exactly what I want to do. Children see Christ in a way that we don't. Their love is still pure and their eyes still shielded. Being around the junior high girls was a blast. They saw life differently then I did. They didn't let the little things get them down. They jumped in and were eager to learn about Jesus. I learned patience, and how to view God in a different perspective. I learned how to just have fun and enjoy the moment when its here. This summer I also got the opportunity to go on my first mission trip to New Mexico, where I got to hang out on a Navajo Indian reservation. That week completely changed my life. It gave me a burning passion for missions. I was given the opportunity to meet so many amazing kids and adults. I connected with children who had very little. They lived in one bedroom houses with five brothers and sisters. They played with busted Frisbee, not x boxes. They cheered and screamed for bracelets. They stole food because that's what they had to do in order to get fed. They hid in the bushes hoping someone would come to play soccer with them. They broke my heart. One girl clung to me all week and I fell in love with her. She taught me how to value what I do have. She got excited when I fed her cotton candy and made me cry when she told me that her parents didn't feed her often. I saw what it looked like to have nothing, but also what it looked like to truly love God. I learned what it meant to serve others and put them before yourself. This summer my heart was changed. 

In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words of he Lord Jesus Himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive."

- Acts 20:35- 

This year I saw loss. I saw loss of faith, loss of hope, loss of loved ones, loss of life. I saw a church who fell and turned to worldly treasures. I saw people who turned back to earthly desires and lost sight of Heaven. I held those broken by loosing loved ones. Through all this loss I saw hope. I saw forgiveness. I watched a young girl loose the only parent that had ever been in here life. I watched as she fell apart and God picked her up and showed her love. I saw the strength she had and the assurance that God had a plan. I saw the pain she had in the mourning of her mother, but the love she had for our Father. I experience a church family fall apart and struggle to save what was left. Even when things seemed hopeless they clung to what little they had left. They clung to the promise that God would deliver them of their struggles and answer their prayers. I am still seeing people who once guided me in my walk loose their way. They have turned from the father and turned towards the riches of this world. The riches that will soon pass away. I saw myself begin to lose hope and begin to feel worthless. I struggled with identity and finding my place in this world. God showed me my worht and my place in His kingdom. Through all this loss I pray that God just carries everyone when they cant carry themselves. I know He knows the desires of our heart and will answer the prayer. He will forgive us and finds us worthy. 

Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. 

-Psalm 37:4

This year I began college. I began a new chapter in my life and one that was constantly being rewritten. Each day God taught me another lesson. The lesson of the power of prayer, the lesson of forgiveness, the lesson of self- worth, the lesson of patience, the lesson of obedience, I could go on and on with the lessons. I struggled more then I had before this semester. I struggled with fear of man and what others thought of me. I struggled with grades and discipline in studying. I struggled with the calling on my life. I struggled with letting my past define me. I struggled with my home life. Through all the lessons and all the struggles God bestowed blessing after blessing on my life. He gave me amazing friends that walked with me. They held me while I cried and rejoiced with me when I was joyful. They stayed up talking with me until 2 a.m and continued to point me towards Jesus. Some Friends are goofy and outgoing and caring. Some are calm and thoughtful but still caring. Some post sweet notes on my door to know that they are there for me and some barge right in the door and tell me in person. I found people that I call family and that I know will be with me through this next chapter in my life. I found a new church family that will never replace the old, but have a special place in my heart. A church who is welcoming and never gives up on us. They point us toward Christ and living a Christ like life. Dallas Baptist university has been one of the biggest blessings in my life. DBU has become my home and my comfort. It has challenged me and been the answer to my prayers. 

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, Plans to give you hope and a future."

-Jeremiah 29:11- 

2013 will soon be the past. This year was a year of growth, just as 2014 will be and the years to follow. We are always growing in our walk with God. Look at the blessings, no matter how big or little they may be. Let those be your joy. When pain comes in the night remember that joy will come in the day. Hold on the promises of God and let Him lead your life. This life is one worth living, and the eternal life is one worth striving towards. As we close out this year reflect on all the good. What lessons have you learned? How has your heart changed? When have you felt hopeless and God has given you hope? 

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

-Hebrews 11:1-

My prayer is that we can all reflect on the good and close out 2013 with a smile. 

God bless <3 

Heaven Slaughter 

The real gift.

Merry Christmas! (:

Today millions across the world are celebrating this day with gifts, family, and food. Today millions across the world are forgetting the real reason we celebrate Christmas.Presents are being passed our, food is being cooked, football is being watched and jingles are being sung. Where is the prayer? Where is the manger scene? Where is Christ? 

The answer is He is being forgotten. We focus so much on the big man with a white beard who brings us gifts, and his little elves that grant our wishes. Kids are focusing on the presents and complaining when its not what they asked. What is the real meaning of Christmas? What is the real gift?

The real gift is one that can't be wrapped. Its one that came thousand of years ago. Its the gift that was brought into this sinful world to live a perfect life. A baby born of a virgin to a mother named Mary and two fathers, one Joseph and the other God. Born in a manger and raised a carpenter. Christ is the real gift today, and every day. He is the gift that is often looked passed on this day full of earthly gifts. 

Christmas is not a day that is wrong. It is not a day that is bad and I do not want it to seem like I see it that way. Christmas is one of my favorite holidays. Until about two years ago I used to see this day as a day of receiving gifts. A day of seeing who got the biggest gift and who santa thought was the best little girl. I saw it as a day full of food and watching football or listing to music. A few years ago Christ humbled me and showed me the real reason for this holiday.

Christmas is about celebrating the one who gives us life. Sweet baby Jesus took his first breath into a world of sin and hatred, oppression and persecution, that way we would be given the opportunity to take our first breath. He came sinless just to take on all our sins and die a painful death. He lived a life perfectly, never making a mistake, that way we would be forgiven of ours. He did all of this so that you and I may have His light inside of us. 

Remember that the real gift today is a baby born of a virgin. Who came, lived perfectly, suffered, died and rose again, just so that you may be given the ultimate gift of salvation. A gift that can not be wrapped, it can not be held, but is worth more then anything money could by. The gift of love and forgiveness. The gift of a savior. 

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Isaiah 9:6

Happy birthday sweet savior. <3 

God bless,

Heaven Slaughter

Not a sinner, but a Saint.

The thing I struggled with the most this past semester is Identity. I often place my identity in the sins of my past. The last couple of nights I have been staying up with a friend and we have been reflecting on what God has taught us this semester. Through those conversations God taught me something new.

Not a sinner, but a saint.   

We so often label ourselfs as sinners. Here is a cool fact for you. The bible calls us sinners 0 times. It calls us saints 56 times. If God doesnt label us as sinners why do we label ourselves as that? Why do we put our identity in that label? Thats not to say that we dont sin, or that we dont have sin. That is true. We all sin, we all fall short. We are not bound by that sin. We are not labeled by that sin. Don't own that sin! Don't let that sin own you! 

Romans 1:7 is just one of the many verses where we are called saints. It says "To all in Rome who are loved by God, and called to be saints or His holy people. 

How awesome is that?!?! That God sees past our sin and He still loves us! He still calls us His saints! You are not a sinner, you are a saint. I am not a sinner, I am a saint. My identity is not in the scars that consume my wrist. My identity is not in the lies that entangle me. My identity is not in the hatred I used to cling to. My identity is not in the suicidal thoughts that once haunted me. Our identity is not in the word 'sinner'. Our identity is how God sees us. Our I identity is Saint.

Dont let your sin become who you are. We are a royal priest hood, the chosen, the called, the loved, the holy, the saved, the forgiven, the saint. There is never a moment when we are perfect. There is never a moment when we don't sin. There also, however, never a moment when we are not loved. There is never a moment when we are not worthy. There is never a moment when we are not forgiven.

You are not a sinner. You are a saint. Live in that. Believe in that. Have faith in that. Trust in that. 

God bless <3 

Heaven April