Who am I to......

So I know its been several months since I last posted a blog. I apologies for that, I'm not sure how many of you are still reading, but I hope some still see this. 

I am at Dallas Baptist University and falling more in love with my Father every day I am here. I have been blessed, I have been challenged. I will post about those blessings and challenges one day, but that's not what I have to say tonight. 

Conviction was brought upon me by a friend tonight and it really made me rethink some aspects of my life. As many know I do not have a great home life. There was and still is much verbal abuse. As the thanksgiving holiday approaches I am getting more and more fearful to return home. That's kind of what I want to touch on tonight. 

Who am I to fear home? Who am I to say that its to much for me to bear, or to hard for me? Who am I to say I don't want to go home because it doesn't please me? Who am I to be unforgivable to the one who hurt me? 

Fear, unforgiving, these are not of God. These are not things I should have if I am truly living as Christ did.

Psalm 27:1
The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?

Matthew 6:14-15 NIV

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Colossians 3:13 NIV

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Ephesians 4:31-32 NIV

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 

These are just a few of the verses that deal with fear and forgiveness. In psalms it plainly states whom shall I fear? I shouldn't fear man. I let my fear have so much control of my life and most of that fear comes from MAN. Why? Why do I fear man if God is my strength? The next few verses touch on forgiveness. The one that really stands out to me is in Matthew. If we forgive man when they sin against us, God will forgive our sins. If we don't forgive men then God will not forgive ours. This verse brought so much convention to my life. The sins of my family on me are not greater than my sin on them. Why can I not forgive them for everything they have done? Christ forgave me for all I did, and for all I continue to do. Who am I to not forgive when I have been forgiven?

Something else I was also reminded of was the power of the Cross. What if Christ said the weight of the cross was to much to bear? Or being beaten until He was unrecognizable was to much for Him to handle? What if the fear of persecution of others was enough to keep Him from prophesying to those he came in contact with? But He endured such persecution, mocking, and hatred. He took the pain of being beaten, He carried His cross up Calvary hill and He bore the weight of the sins of the world. He took on our fear, worry, stress, pain, persecution as it was His own. He gave His perfect life for our sinful life. 

So who am I to flee from the opportunity to share this with others. Christ did so much more then I deserve that way I can go out and proclaim the good news. I should not fear returning home I should use it as a mission trip to share the gospel. I should look at it in a positive way and know that God is walking with me every step of the way.

That is how we should embrace situations. With the same mindset that Christ had. Cast away our fears and share the gospel. Lay down our own selfish desires and pick up our cross. Forgive the unforgivable, just as we are forgiven. Christ thought all of us were to die for so who are we to fear one another, or hate one another? 

Tonight just pray that God will open your heart. Pray that He will take the fear and worry from your life and replace it with joy. Pray that He will give you a heart of forgiveness and that He will break down those walls that you put up. Pray that He will give you the strength to pick up your cross and follow Jesus. 

God bless <3

 Heaven Slaughter